Many parents experience Our Story

When our son Michael was born, my wife Susan and I were delivered an unexpected and heartbreaking diagnosis: Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy. The news shattered our world. We felt lost, engulfed in a sense of grief and trauma that was impossible to articulate.

In an effort to steer our family in a different direction, we pursued a sex selection procedure, hoping to avoid another son with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy. Eighteen months later, we were preparing to welcome twin girls, Emily and Olivia, but in what felt like a cruel twist of fate, our joy was short-lived when we discovered in a regular ultrasound that Emily had a rare brain malformation. The challenges of raising two children with significant disabilities was overwhelming. We navigated endless battles with schools and medical professionals, often feeling exhausted and isolated. And frankly, at times our family who should have been our best support abandoned us in times of the greatest need and suffering or were tired of adjusting plans so we could participate. They hurt us worse than anyone else in the world could have and were not always there for us.

Despite the difficulties, our marriage and intimate relationship remained our primary source of strength. We are incredibly stubborn, and we leaned on one another. Still, the weight of trauma, PTSD, grief, and the constant struggle to support our children took its toll. Then finally the unimaginable happened and we lost Emily very suddenly on May 16th, 2013. Then everything almost shattered when in January 2021 Susan and I almost divorced. By some miracle we found a marriage counselor and she literally helped us cope and gave us some key strategies for our marriage that improved our communication and initmacy. The suffering and struggle still continued and a few months later Michael passed on August 3rd, 2021. Each loss deepened our wounds and tested our resolve, but our marriage survived and we were better able to cope with the struggle thanks to that timely infusion of counseling and the skills we learned.

According to Dr. Ann Gold Buscho in Psychology Today, approximately 87% of parents of disabled children experience divorce. Thankfully, Susan and I defied those odds. Our marriage persevered, but it wasn’t by chance. We stumbled into marriage counseling, which became a lifeline for us. Our counselor provided us with tools to cope with our losses, communicate effectively, and support each other through our darkest days.

We learned that every family grieves in their own way, but uniformly, mentally healthy parents are better equipped to support their children. This realization ignited a passion within us to help others facing similar struggles.

At The Holland House Project, we are dedicated to ensuring that families access the counseling services they need. We believe that with the right support, families can rebuild, overcome, and thrive. Our mission is to offer love, understanding, and accessibility to resources for those navigating the heart-wrenching challenges of raising children with disabilities. Together, we can help families weather the storms and strengthen their bonds.